Excerpt: David, Approaching the Philistine
A few weeks ago, I shared on the blog an excerpt from a writing project I did a few years ago. It was a series of short vignettes in which I imagined the thoughts of certain Old Testament Biblical characters as they went through significant moments in their lives. This week, I preached on the story of David and Goliath, so I thought I would share one of the chapters from my writing project in which I imagined David's thoughts as he approached Goliath to fight him. I hope it bless you.
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I Samuel 17:37
The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.
Look at the manhood of Israel, cowering in the shelter of their tents, afraid to walk forth to face this descendant of the Kenites, the nation before whom we once shrank back in the lost days. Those were the days of his wrath and anger, when he punished the people for their fear. And now they risk such a thing again! And for what? The physical safety of a few moments?
O Lord, may all who see me now, may all who hear this story in the future, may all who look upon these great events, O Lord, may all who see this moment understand rightly the composition of my obedience! Forbid, O Mighty One, that any should consider me the main actor, or that in this my strength, my courage, yea, even my trust! would be glorified. O God, these things are yours, and if I have courage, if I have faith, it did not originate in me.
Listen, O my heart, and I will tell you the ways of faith, the pathways that this courage has taken! Hear and learn and be strengthened, both now for the trial, and for whatever will come in the future. O Lord, speak in my words as I speak to myself, for in this discipline of self-analysis I find your peace. My heart is quieted before you, the turmoil of it stilled, yes, Lord, even now as I walk towards the confrontation quiet my heart. Here is my very self poured into the mold of your words and ways, the affections of my heart going up in the discipline of your truth, returning to you as praise after passing through the mysteries of your cleansing presence. Your Spirit lifts into your presence my praise, making it beautiful, beautiful, though it comes from a stained heart. This is a miracle, a mystery to be seen, contained in the hope of the promise, the shadow of the sprinkling that Aaron and his descendants perform. O Lord, hear my voice.
Listen, listen, O heart, and know the power of the Lord. Dominion is his. He reigns above the circle of the earth. His voice shakes the very desert, twisting the oaks, stripping the forest bare. His hand smooths out the seas, measures the span of the heavens above. This is declared in every language by the heavens themselves, the glory they speak of is the vastness of God, the aboveness of him who made such things, implying a power beyond them possessed by him, a power that makes the sun seem dim, the thunder soft, and the wilds of the ocean calm. This trembling power, simmering and seeping out of the edges of all things, is the glory of the creator displayed in his creation. Lord, you make yourself known here with a clarity sufficient to render all men guilty, a clarity that makes every idol a mockery, a self-worship, a willful rebellion.
This is the power of God, a power revealed most particularly to my people, this tribe of men chosen from among all men, freely, before action, as you once chose Jacob over Esau while they still struggled in the womb. We alone among men possess this revelation, seeing his power first in the glorious deeds of old, creation, flood, his hand of punishment upon the earth. In the law, too, this power is displayed, judging, dividing. Finally, the promise reveals your power even as it holds out the hope of your presence, a renewal of the image of God in us, and the joys and delights of fellowship once enjoyed in the garden.
O Lord, what glory is contained in these things! Glory, O Lord, for it is the presence of your quickening Spirit in them, that which shines forth from the words of the Lord and brings alive, this quality that your saints can never praise enough, can never give thanks for enough, for it is that which brought them alive!
Stand, O heart, stand. Be quickened by the memory of his glory. If I now walk forth, it is in the courage of a revealed power, a revealed glory, with a sure and undeniable evaluation of the proportion of things, seen from the new eyes of his followers, not the dead and dying eyes of idols and those that worship them.
See the Philistine truthfully, rightly. In proportion to this world, he is a marvel. He is the splendor of all mankind, a champion of champions! In the flesh, he is surpassingly strong, abundantly powerful, a man armed with all the contrivances and inventions of earthly wisdom, the strength of the earth girding him, and his hands powerful for battle. A mighty sword is in his right hand, a mighty spear in the left. He is all the world can muster against the people of God, the pinnacle of its power, the summit of its strength, a man astride the world, challenging the heavens, a fist raised up against them, a defiance to all that is invisible. With what power can you come against me? he says. I am the power, I am the ruler, I am the dominion, for none dare threaten me, none dare oppose me! And before this the people of God are like fools, cowering in their tents, even the anointed ruler, even Saul once chosen by God, once filled with the power of his Holy Spirit! They look upon the Philistine, then they look to themselves, and before this contrast they shudder.
For shame! To judge this man by his own standard is to flee from his presence. This is the pagan measurement, to measure ourselves by ourselves, to see in the power of the earth real strength, though it is held in place only at the whim of its Maker. Laugh at such things, O heart! Who is this man, that he defies the armies of the Living God?
O Lord, you live, you live, and in your hand are all things! My courage is no courage, but a mere estimation of things. For by the light of the Lord I see the trembling power that stands behind all power, him who alone allows us to consider these things rightly. This man is powerful in his own way, in his self-examination strengthened by the false courage of the world, the same courage that is displayed in the huddling masses of Israel. But there is no proportion here. I know him who stirs the seas and draws the sun across the sky and shakes the earth with the breath of his nostrils. Would Goliath challenge the seas themselves? Would he hurl his spear at the sun? Yet there is one greater than both of these, whom he defies with no fear! Such calculations are irrational at their heart, the willful shuttering of the mind to the fact of the situation, like a child who closes his eyes in fear and imagines that he has made his enemies disappear.
Scoff at him, O heart, scoff at the men who set themselves up against our God. O Lord, surely this is no glory of mine, that you have captured my hearts in days long past, that you have given me eyes that see and perceive the glory which others shut out. I saw these things myself, O merciful One, when you demonstrated your power against the bear and the lion on my behalf! What can I claim for myself in this? What extraordinary thing do I have that all the people of God do not possess? That I have faith returns nothing to me, for what we call faith is no more than the knowledge of invisible things joined with a determination to act upon them, that I can see his power and know that in this battle there can be but one victor.
O Lord, who gave me eyes, you are glorified in my obedience now, you and you alone, none of me. My heart is yours, I am a man after your heart, our hearts going out to each other according to the condescension of your mysterious nature, the pathways unknown but hidden within the great restoration, that future son of the woman who will crush our enemy’s head, our greater enemy who even now whispers his encouragements into my lesser enemy’s ears, who blinds his eyes to the invisible realities, and perverts his reason so that his confidence rests misplaced in the sword, the spear, and the strength of his arm.
This is yours Lord, all of it, my courage, your battle, my heart, his rebellion, the stone I sling, the sword he wields, the sun on my back, the wind in my face, the ground pounding beneath my feet. To see this invisible ownership is the rational act of the awakened man, a living man, the life in me springing from the life in you, calling out to that which it recognizes, holding me in hand as I run, swiftly, towards the battle lines.